September 18, 2018

Beards, Boobs and Diesel Trucks!

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Beard Growing Tips with Boobs & Diesel Trucks of Course

Need Beard Growing Tips? Well I like to think of myself as a manly man. I may be a skinny lil turd that can’t gain weight to save my life. But I come from Montana where men are men…. and sheep are scared! Haha!

But seriously, I love hunting, fishing, hiking, shooting, snowboarding and my hot ass wife. I want to take a minute to talk about beards and a few growing beard tips. I grow my beard out a couple times a year and usually get rid of it when my wife will no longer kiss me. As much as I have tried to convince her that beards are sexy…. well let’s just say she ain’t buyin’ it. She hates my beard and my growing beard tips.

Beard Growing Tips
My hot ass wife…. I think she was actually judging my beard in this picture

Just last week I was starting to feel as though my “Man Card” was possibly wavering so I decided to start another beard. I had never thought about this before, but about 5 days in I realized… there are good beards and bad beards just the same as there are good diesel trucks and bad diesel trucks. By day number 5 my face just hurt! It itched like crazy, I couldn’t sleep, this was a very bad beard! I found myself getting out of bed in the middle of the night, floundering around for the sheep sheers in the dark. I couldn’t carve this mess off my face fast enough.

FINALLY! Sleep came, I slept like a baby and woke up in the morning to find that my reflection told a different story of my midnight adventure. You know those $5 an hour guys that kinda mow the grass in front of gas stations? But instead it looks more like someone tried cutting the grass with a couple of dull butter knives swinging around on a chain! Well that’s what my face looked like, fuzzy patches were the itching wasn’t and bald bleeding patches where I attempted to cure the itching with a rusty razor and a handful of shaving cream, some of which was still dried and crusty on my ears. I looked a mess.

Beard Growing Tips
When I was logging in the Mountains of Montana it got hot in the summer. A nice trim beard was the way to go.

I had to do some serious work to make myself look presentable enough to show my face at work that morning. This is when I decided the diesel community needed to know the difference between a good beard and a bad beard. I love diesel trucks and go fast goodies. I try very hard to write good reviews of the parts we install here at Lead Foot Diesel Performance. I write these reviews, not because I love spending hours of my personal time typing on a laptop… I do these reviews because I consider everyone that loves and drives a diesel truck, my brother and friend. I don’t want ya’ll to be blindly buying parts I know are junk. So I take the time to write a review on things to encourage you to purchase what is best for your truck.

Beard Growing Tips
When I am hunting late in the year I like a big ol mountain man beard. The day before I shot this buck however I had a serious case of Icicle Beard. I ended up knocking off 3 months of growth to avoid and messy defrost mode.

Likewise I care about your beards. They are a thing of pride and we love them even though our significant others may not appreciate them. I think of my beard as the muscles I will never have. God blessed/cursed me with a nitrous oxide injected metabolism.  I can eat like a horse and it changes nothing. I can go to the gym and pump iron for hours and it changes nothing. So I grow beards, I try to change it up with each beard. Sometimes a nice straight beard with a handlebar mustache, maybe a big ol bushy mountain man beard now and then. I think this time I am going for the Spartan style, keep it trimmed to the shape of my jaw line but long off the chin.

The bottom line here guys, if you feel the need to grow out another beard, make damned sure she’s a good beard. If it’s itchy and scratchy a couple days in, don’t be afraid to knock off those couple days worth and lotion up and start over. Gillette makes an excellent aftershave lotion that has turned many a bad beard into a good beard for me.

Here are a few different beards I have tried over the years. I loved them all but you can tell there is only one style that my wife likes….

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